Sleepless in September?

As Lyndsey Hookway says, 'big changes, big deals' and going back to school after the long Summer holiday is definitely a big deal. Through the holidays they've probably had a totally different routine, spent time in different places and with different people. Now they're back in the classroom navigating the complexities of making friends and changing friendships, parental separation, learning new rules and a new environment and, on top of all that, hopefully learning as well. It's a lot.

Throw some homework or school clubs into the mix and you've got long, busy days, which may be leaving them feeling tired and overwhelmed with a lot of emotions to process when they get home. As adults we know that big changes in our lives can leave our brains feeling so busy that sleep can be hard to come by, and this is exactly what we have to help our kids navigate.

In our children this might cause meltdowns after school, unusual clingyness, frequent tears, push back at bedtime, nightmares and every stalling tactic known to man to get you to stay in the room after lights out.

So what can we do to help?

Connect, connect, connect.

I know we're all busy and settling back in to the routine, but if we can give our children a chance to unload and unwind chances are you'll find their behaviour calms down too. Give them the space and time to share anything which happened in their day with you. This shouldn't be a quick fire question round about what they had for lunch and who they played with, instead try an open ended question in a quiet moment to find out three amazing things about their day, or something that surprised them. Questions while walking or doing an activity together can feel less intense and pressured.

Make sure they have time with you so they're not having to act up to gain attention. Find a moment for some 121 time, maybe this is at bedtime, maybe it's ten minutes on the walk home from pick up. If you have other caregivers around work out together what this might look like for both of you so you can support each other in finding those moments of connection.

Remember in the moments of outburst that it's probably not actually about their pyjamas being the wrong colour. Help them navigate their big feelings with empathy and validation.

Finally, don't forget it's a big time of year for parents and caregivers too. We might be more anxious than usual as our kids get to know a new school and/or new teachers. The warm weather of Summer is fading and nights are drawing in. We've survived the Summer - you might be missing your kids after 6 weeks together or feel like you've limped to the finish line desperate for a return to normality, or perhaps a bit of both! Show yourself some compassion as well, have a bath, eat a healthy dinner, check in and unload with a loved one.

Good luck!

References

Lyndsey Hookway, Still Awake, Pinter & Martin Ltd, 2021